Something is ending, and something begins
by Challia
Summary: What will happen with Daryl and Carol's relationship after 2 years of being apart when the world starts to heal. Slightly AU but the original TWD characters are included.
1. Peace

_**A/N**__**: This is a story that tells us how Daryl and Carol's future has formed after he left with Merle and how it will affect everyone when they meet again after 2 years of being apart. What has changed between them and what has remained solid. Will they find their way to one another or will they remain in their current relationships. This is a new start for them. Or maybe the end of all they had and cherished. If there ever was anything to be savored. The Walkers are gone, the world survived, Fort Benning was the right choice long ago. Normality, safety, and regular lives wait ahead. Will they be able to confront them? Or will they face all the dangers and expectations of this new world alone?**_

The ray of bright light wakes you up. It is still so early, you know it, but your late nature provides you from sleeping long even though there is no watch to be held, no hunt needed, no danger to be kept at bay, no children to feed, no women to keep safe. For a second there you think: "What a damn release..no responsibility anymore, no one to make difficult choices, no one to boss me around, no one to look after..no one to care about." You open your eyes and take a glimpse of black curly hair on your pillow. "Well, no one to take care of, aside her...My anchor in this new, stupid version of the world."

Karen Palmer was your companion, soul mate, your guardian angel for almost 2 years now. The way the two of you have collided was sudden, intense and least expected. After you've left your initial group to go on a suicide trip or mission or whatever you'd call it, with your brother Merle, there were not many women you came across, but you've met some Woodbury citizens who abandoned their camp in search for better and safer guidance. Karen was one of them. She was smart, she was a quick learner and she never caused any trouble. The "3 musketeers" now, you, her and Merle finally left the haunted woods of southern Georgia and headed towards Fort Benning, a place where a guy you used to know in your other life, a guy called Shane Walsh wanted to go long ago..

The first days and weeks were tough. Merle was whining about not enough food, not enough fun on the road and not enough attention from either you or Karen. You suspected he might have tried something with her, she was one attractive chick after all, but as you were getting her better you knew, she wasn't a kind of girl out there for entertainment. She was calm, she was steady with weapons, she was quiet and rarely smiled. After weeks of exploring woods being just quiet, she finally broke and you watched her cry and lament over her dead son, Noah, who was just used by the Governor, pretty much like everyone else in Woodbury. You've had your own demons haunt you at that time. Most of them formed in a shape of a teenage boy and a dead walker girl, of an infant and a broken father, of a young couple and a crippled old man, of a tender woman with dark blue eyes, of promises you made and will not ever be able to keep...All of you shared horrors of this world, and you only had yourselves to cling to. You knew of course, at the second you reached for Karen's broken figure to hold her close looking for comfort yourself, you knew that it will be a mistake, that she is not the one to be held in your arms, that this is not your place and not your time. Not your family, not the one you keep in your heart. Your family, your beloved ones were left in this prison, now miles away. But Merle needed you and you needed him. Karen was just a side companion at first, and then she became more.

You remember the first night you made love with her. It was frantic, out of place and happened as a result of both of you crying over what and who you lost in the last years. That was the night Merle died too. His death wasn't dramatic or terrible per se. Everyone fought Walkers and he just got bit. He begged you to finish him off. You couldn't do it. Couldn't put a bullet in your brother's head even after all that's happened. So Karen did it for you. And after, she just held you after you collapsed in her arms, thinking of the other day when someone close and dear was put down, of that sunny day at Hershel's farm, of the night that followed a few weeks later and your dim words still in your head: "sorry Brother..". You liked to think you were merciful then. And so was Karen. So after, when she kissed you lightly, you returned her gesture with so much power, so much intensity, so much passion you had in yourself, that you thought this fire will burn both of you inside out. The sex was intense, it was delightful, it was spicy and fiery. But in the peak of your orgasm, in the moment that you thought was purely physical and achieved only 'cos both of you needed a release, in that moment you forgot yourself and in the heat of the moment you whispered to her ear the only word she never wanted to hear._ "Carol...". _

And now Karen laid in your arms again, night after night, only the world wasn't ending anymore, in fact it was rebuilding. You decided to come here after you heard a mysterious message on the radio, someone saying something about the answer to the infection. You decided to give it a shot. Of course, after Merle died you considered a trip back to the prison, to the place you knew, would welcome you with open arms. But there were several reasons for not doing that. First of all, they all probably were really upset with you leaving with Merle. You could imagine the regret and disappointment written on Maggie's and Glenn's faces. Hershel's preaching tone. Rick's welcoming smile but bitterness all over him. Carol's joy and happiness. That's what you were sure, you could never stand. Because you knew she would be delighted to see you again. But what if you showed up with Karen by your side? Oh, you were sure Carol would understand. She always did. But it would hurt her, it would break her heart. Although you never consciously analized her feelings for you, deep under your skin you knew, you always knew...another woman in your life will be a betrayal. On the other hand, you couldn't just abandon Karen. She took care of you after Merle, she was a good and loving person. And she loved you, you knew that. Did you love her? Not at first, no. But after months have passed, days and nights, your heart slowly opened for her and now she offered you more than just her body. She offered you peace. A chance to start over. And even though it was a life without the original Atlanta group, without Rick, Hershel, Lil'Asskicker, without Carol and all the others...maybe it was worth to give it a shot? After you left the prison with Merle, you knew you were a lost cause for all of them anyway.

And trying to love Karen made things easier. Once in your life you felt the pressure of responsibility was taken off your back when you were with her. And whatever it was that you gave to her, she seemed to be pleased with it.

Even if once in a while, in the steamy heat of the night you called her _Carol._


	2. Happiness

_**A/N**__**: Dear Reader. Many thanks for taking your time to have a look at this story, to review, favorite or follow it. Before I go any further with the plot, with dialogues and interpersonal relations, this chapter is going to tell Carol's point of view for her current situation, and how her life has changed (or not) after Daryl left with Merle. I promise that soon after that, I will slowly start heading towards the inevitable reunion of our beloved survivors. **_

_**Before I take you to TWD world again, one word to those who commented on this story so far.**_

_**dark-hatake**__**: I absolutely loved your review and I so much appreciate that this story has moved you, even though I had to use Google Translate to understand full of your message hehe, my Spanish isn't that good yet. **_

_**Dixonrocks **__**: thank you as well, I promise I will continue for as long as I enjoy writing Daryl/Carol, which means probably for a while now:)**_

_**As always, I am sorry for all spelling or grammar mistakes I might have missed, English is not my native language:). **_

_**Dear Reader, please enjoy this little story, and if you have time, reviews are always welcome!**_

_May 12th._

Life is finally good now. In fact, it's been good for a long time. You've learned to cherish simple things now and then. The sun under your eyelids when you wake up. The raindrops on a colder spring day. Star constellations. The smell of grass. The sound of animals in the courtyard. Charlie's barking. Children playing on the haylofts. This wonderful man lightly snoring next to you. And most of all, no Walkers, no smell of death, no gunshots, no more fear.

The infection which turned the world into a living tomb seems to finally retreat. It started about 4 months ago. Walkers became more and more apathetic, clumsy, listless. The days when you could see them around the Prison's fences were happening less and less often. Finally you stopped seeing them at all. Of course the men still performed scouting missions but each time they got back with the news of the infection slowing down. One day Glenn and Maggie brought news from their hike of meeting a group of people heading towards Fort Benning, supposedly a safe zone finally. Rick of course was skeptical about it, mainly because everyone remembered how all the previous "safe zones" turned out to be. But truth was, there were more and more fallen Walkers in the woods and towns, and also more living people encountered on routine runs. But the radio in the Prison remained silent although Tyreese daily controlled each one of its frequencies for potential news from whatever and whoever was outside the Prison.

Meanwhile, even though everyone seemed already quite pumped up with all the revelations about Fort Benning, Rick decided that until any solid radio announcement is actually heard or real soldiers come to the Prison and everyone sees them for real, nothing should change just yet.

So your life went on its usual pace for a while longer.

Days started early, with quick cold shower (hot water was a luxury that could be afforded only on special occasions like Christmas or weddings etc) and quickly prepared breakfast. Most of the times it was you, Sasha or Beth preparing it, nothing fancy, just oatmeal or eggs (real eggs, now you've had 16 chickens all the way!) or just some fruits that Bob or Tyreese brought from their forest runs. After breakfast and a lazy 1 hour break, there was time for exercising. Staying fit still mattered. It was still essential for your survival, and it didn't matter if there were still Walkers or not. One major thing you all learned from the apocalypse was: fight the Dead but fear also the Living.

There were also some classes to conduct. Kids were growing fast. There were no teachers, no schools and all the knowledge they should get drastically changed in the last years. So you and Sasha shared your teaching duties. You taught about history and science, Sasha about survival. Beth was there too for all else entertainment all the kids needed. Keeping them busy was important too.

Through the years, some elderly folks that were brought to the Prison when Woodbury fell, passed away and the western side of the Prison's courtyard soon turned into a small cemetery. You've all tried to take care of the graves the best way you could. Removed weeds, planted fresh flowers and watered them, strengthened the rock piles so no wild creatures could get to the bodies..It was your daily routine, and you enjoyed the calamity of the cemetery. Even though it reminded you of everyone lost through the apocalypse. There was a symbolic grave of Lori, and T-Dog, their remains were never found.. Slightly bigger were the other graves...Andrea's and Axel's. You made sure that fresh Cherokee Roses always remained on Andrea's grave. She was your dearest friend and she died trying to bring you all together. Sadly, there were so many more graves and also one remembrance stone in the center of this graveyard. A carved quote on it was saying:

_**" Do not shed tears when I have gone**_

_**But smile instead because I have lived".**_

_In memoriam of:_

_The Greene Family members_

_Otis_

_Patricia_

_Jimmy_

_Jackqui_

_Jim_

_dr Edwin Jenner_

_Amy Harrison_

_Sophia Peletier_

_Ed Peletier_

_Dale Horvath_

_Shane Walsh_

_Oscar_

_Milton Mammet_

_Duane Jones_

_and all those who fell in Atlanta, at the Quarry, the Greene Farm, Atlanta Center for Disease Control and Prevention , Senoia Prison and Woodbury._

_**31.03. 2014. The Survivors. **_

What saddened you the most was that there was always a place left for more carvings. More names to be put there.

Nevertheless, this was a special place for everyone at the Prison, it helped to keep the loved ones close even if only symbolically, and helped to deal with demons within. Because each of you carried at least one.

But despite all the sadness and death you had to face, life was finally good. Not great, but calm. Pleasant. Peaceful. Days went by on steady rhythm and when the nights came you could lay down with smile on your face and in the arms of a man who guided you safely through all the trials. From the day you first met him at the Quarry up until now. Through all ups and downs this relationship had. It was not something that bloomed fiercely, it was not an unstoppable mutual attraction, it was rather..a need of having someone close, someone you can trust, someone to take care of. Both of you lost almost everything in this world. He lost his wife and you lost Sophia and ..Ed. But it was not Ed's death that was a significant loss for you, it was the leaving of someone else that once torn your heart apart. You wanted to forget so much, to throw this away from your heart and head, but you still remembered his rough voice, his smell, the look in his eyes when he asked you once to stay safe and then left forever. His poncho remained here along with some of his belongings, his razor, toothbrush, towel, his second hunting knife, his favorite shirt, some extra arrows for his crossbow... You considered getting rid of all this, there was no point in keeping it here now that he was gone, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. But eventually you threw everything away, you only left his poncho for yourself. Partly because it was warm and winters in the Prison were harsh. Partly because it still smelled of him. Of gasoline, nicotine, of blood. Some might have thought it was awful, but for you it smelled like him even though you knew the smell would eventually wear off. So you couldn't just get rid of it. You folded the poncho carefully and held it under your bed. No one would know.

As soon as his cell was emptied, Carl moved in there and it was okay. The boy grew up fast and needed his space. But each time you passed by that cell, you could almost hear Daryl's rough and impatient voice, see his slim silhouette on the bunk bed and sometimes even the shade of his crossbow at the wall. Thankfully it happened less and less often as you just avoided being around his cell.

Sometimes you wondered if Rick knew. He missed Lori greatly and you knew you could never replace her, but Daryl and yourself were never a couple, even though the group treated you like one since you all left the Farm. You wondered if Rick knew that, at night, when you laid quietly and safely in his warm arms, in your mind you were somewhere else, in other arms, arms covered in scars and tattoos, the only arms you ever wanted to belong. Even if Rick knew that, he would understand. Everyone here lost someone and everyone missed people dear to one's hearts. So when your man..your Rick..your partner for better or worse now.. when he finally falls asleep and his breath deepens and steadies, sometimes you look at the stars then, you try to see through the darkness surrounding you and the Prison that has became your home..and you let yourself to say this little prayer, even though you gave up praying a long time ago..:

"Please God..wherever he is, keep him safe. Please Daryl. Stay safe".


	3. Two for the Road

**A/N:** _**Dear Reader. Once again, tons of thanks for a positive reaction to this story. I have to warn you though. Because both Daryl and Carol are paired with someone else now, and are happy with it, there will have to pass some time before they can find their way to one another. Which means a lot of drama, angst, emotions, broken hearts and untamed feelings. Hoping that you'll still be with me by then. For now enjoy the ride!**_

**soupchicago:** I'm thrilled that you find the story gut wrenching! I didn't think it will cause any serious tension so soon, at the very beginning! But this is probably a good thing, it means my readers are intrigued and that's the whole point of writing, no?:)

**vmg**: I also know very well how Carol feels right now, trust me. No matter how much she tries and tells herself that this is happiness, safety and home...something is always missing. I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the chapter:)

**Dixonrocks**: I was afraid the memoriam will be controversial because I brought Ed there, also Milton. But I had a feeling that however Ed Peletier was a bad man, he did a lot of cruel things in his life, he was still Sophia's dad, and Carol's husband. So his name should be remembered in some way. As for Milton, in the end he turned out to be a good person, he did whatever he felt right to do. Michonne (and many others) knew him from Woodbury and my idea is that she got a good impression of his character, that is why I put him in the memoriam. I am so happy you accepted it.

**Lovely Laughing & Random Fic Reader**: Oh well, I just came out with the concept for this story when I reminisced about LOST and how much their lives have changed when they got off the Island:) Thought it could be a good idea to bring it here:)

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own The Walking Dead.**_

_May 12th. _

The heat is unbearable. Sun is already setting down but damn temperature doesn't seem to drop. You need only one thing now - a cold shower or bath or maybe even cold mud to get rid of the sweat, heat, and ever present mosquitoes. What isn't present though, are animals. No wild boar, squirrel, wild turkey, not to mention deer..Forests are slowly becoming emptied. There are loads of dead Walker bodies though. You sigh. Getting fresh water is gonna become more and more problematic. The small lake where your little cabin stood was still clean but probably not for long. You and Karen were leaving soon anyway. To try this Fort Benning. She insisted. You were more than reluctant. But you knew she needed some companionship and you were both tired of each other staying in this small house for so long. For you it may have been perfect. Nature, solitude, distance. But in the long run, maybe staying here was eventually a risk. With no food and fresh water.

So you decided to at least check this "safe zone" you heard on the radio about, and if it turns out to be a bullshit, you can always turn back, find another place or get here again.

Wherever you'll go eventually, you will go there together, and it was an encouraging thought. She was yours and you were his. For better or worse now. You never expected to become so dependent on someone's company, to feel so content in a presence of a woman. There have been many women in your past, none of them really mattered, and the only one who did was beyond your reach now anyway. Any time her name slipped into your mind, you supressed it with all the power you've had. No need for unnecessary distractions. Memories. Or pain. Whatever happened on that farm and prison, was long gone and put behind you. For two years now. No need lingering on it any more.

She sits on the front porch busy with preparing provisions for the road that awaits you soon. She hears your approach and her pretty black eyes smile to you along with her mouth. She is so beautiful. Her hair is braided now and she is wearing a simple short dress with flower ornaments. She looks like a twenty year old, so innocent, so pure.

_"Sweet Jesus...I love you, I really do...Where have you been.. all my life?.."_

The words in your head form easily but you've never actually managed to say them out loud. You couldn't. For some weird reason that you never understood, those words would feel dishonest. Like a treason. Which of course was stupid, there were no one to cheat on. Any more. Because whatever has ever been between you and the blue eyed, freckled, short-haired sassy woman that you met ages ago near Atlanta..whatever there was , was long gone now, if there ever was anything at all. But her pale face still haunted your dreams and why the hell you still felt like you were cheating on her? It's been two years god damn it. Two years of being here in the wild with this gorgeous creature, two years of living the life just the way you've always wanted. Two years free of constant life threat, two years of great sex and peace of your soul. Your dream life. Life you always desired.

"You're back". Karen's voice is deep. Low. Her smile wide. Precious.

"It was a waste of time. Woods are emptied. 'S better we move soon."

"Told you so. It's the only way, Daryl..". She smiles again and puts her warm arms around your neck.

"You know, you smell".

"So do you. What have ya been doing..?"

"I caught us some fish. For dinner. Our farewell to this place." Her dark eyes almost look sad and watery. " Too bad. I was happy here".

There's no easy answer to this. You want to reassure her that you were happy too, that whatever past you have left behind it wouldn't ever trigger your relationship with Karen..only the words won't come out your mouth once more. If there ever was one thing you could never do, it was lying. And this wonderful woman, this flawless creature, she didn't deserve any of the lies. That you have carefully prepared for her to hear. Ever since you left your family and decided to start anew with her.

So you simply say:

" You're happy with me , Dimples, no?" Your embrace is firm and her smell overwhelming. And your body reacts soon.

"Yes, but you still smell".

"You like it when I smell". Your lips on her neck. She takes like salt, smells like sunflowers. You see some freckles on her neck. Not light and dense. Dark and solitary. You kiss each one of them. You close your eyes, you wanna dive into the peace she offers, but her hair is too long and her whimpers are too high and too loud. And maybe she senses a change in your mood because soon she says:

"Go take a bath, you're adorable but you're gonna spoil dinner being like this".

"Join me then..". Your words are no more than just a hot breath over her tingling skin.

"You want?". Your rough hands find their way to her breasts again and now she is the one breathing heavily.

"Come on now..". You lift her up, so her thighs are now around your hips. Slowly you climb up the stairs to approach a small shower room, and when the water starts to flow around you, you find yourself inside her again, hard, anxious, needing, wanting, thrusting, with love, with lust, with anger, with overwhelming sadness...The voices are calling you, her hands are pulling yours, her eyes are pleading, her cobalt eyes, her freckled skin, her soft lips, her hopeful smile..._Carol...Carol..._

"God damnit!.." . The release is painful, shameful, full of guilt. Her name pushes into your lips again but this time you contain it, you don't want Karen to hear it again, she doesn't deserve this. She loves you. Truly, madly, deeply. As you should too. You should.

"Who was she?". Karen's voice is silent, almost coming from other dimension.

"Huh?".

You lay in each other's arms savoring the last rays of light in the cabin that became the home for you for so long. Tomorrow you will be leaving. To face Fort Benning, the unknown future, or maybe the inevitable past. You didn't want to leave. But Karen did. You were afraid what awaits you outside these walls. That the past will finally chase you around and reach for you.

All those people you left behind. All the ones you couldn't have saved. And the ones you have. Infants. Teenagers. Men. Women. Cripples. Widows. Convicts. Lawmen. Housewives. People without faces, lost in your memory now.

And people who will forever be burnt into it.

You wish it could be over already. This overwhelming feel of guilt that burned into your bloodstream.

You close your eyes. Memories, go away already.

"Guess the fish is all burnt out by now." Karen's silver laugh is all around the cabin now, waking you up from the depressing stupor. She didn't really wait for you to answer her earlier question. Wasn't time for it yet.

"I'm damn starving..".

"So am I..". She kisses your cheek and then she is gone.

_May 13th. _

You leave at first light. Your small cabin, a place that became a safe haven for your two broken souls finally is left behind. Fort Benning awaits. Karen is excited. She is hoping to find some familiar faces there. From Woodbury and time before it. Her sister. Brother. Parents. Her dearest friend. False hopes, maddening memories.

You don't await anyone. Just for a brief second you wonder if the Prison group may have tried to walk this path. But you know Rick ain't stupid. He will wait for something more obvious. More sure. More certain. Previous experiences made everyone cautious. But some part of your soul, the one you try to block, the one that awakes at sleepless nights, at blissful moments with Karen, at lonely hunts, at times spend on your own...this part of your souls whispers sometimes mischievously " What if they survived, what if they come here, what about her, what about you..?".


	4. New world, new chances

_**A/N:**__** My beloved, dearest Readers! I am totally aware of what I'm putting you through right now, and I know the jealousy, pain, sadness is unbearable. It's really tough for me as well to write Daryl with another woman, with Carol it's not so bad because we've still known Rick for ages now and we know he is a good man. Karen is new. We still don't know anything about her. I wanted to give her some credit because of all the hate her character is receiving on the Internet. I wanted Daryl to love her. I wanted to make him ready for **__**real**__** love when he finally reunites with Rick and co. I am sick of NR's comments of Daryl being "emotionally unprepared for intimacy". He is a normal person like all of us, he is a man after all and Carol is a woman. They share close bond. There's absolutely no reason they shouldn't get together and Daryl is not some precious prey who should keep his virginity close 'cos everyone is hunting for it. Daryl is a regular, healthy man. He's found a regular, healthy woman, Karen. She shares his bed, his house, his proximity. But truth is, he doesn't belong to her although he desperately wants to. But he never will, because deeply in his heart and mind, he has bound to someone else long ago. That is what I want to show in this story. My faithful Reader, please be patient. It will happen. But the road is long and twisted and the days, nights are dark and full of terrors. Daryl and Carol must find themselves on the same road, and this road has to bring them together somehow, must lead them to this one special place, so they can finally find one another. Will it be Fort Benning? We shall see...:)**_

_May 15th. _

The crucial message has finally been heard.

_"The answer to infection is here. There's no other hope. Come to Fort Benning and you will be saved. We have soldiers, medical care, hot water, provisions. The outbreak is coming to its end. Trust in your military, your country. Trust in Fort Benning. The answer to infection is here". _

It sounded cheesy. And fake. But it was heard on all available radio frequencies. Day after day, scouting patrols brought news about people heading north. Prison inhabitants grew restless. Especially elderly ones and those with families. They wanted to go, they wanted to check. It wasn't a bad idea after all. All of you knew that the infection won't last forever and will finally end some day, one day..Like all infections usually did.

The decision was taken on one rainy afternoon. Rick gave up and agreed for a "patrol-like" route towards Fort Benning. A few chosen people were to visit, check it, and bring news if it's any good. If it was true. If was worth taking a shot. And if the military could really take care of you now. Five people were chosen for the scouting group. Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Tyreese, and you. Hershel, Carl, Sasha and Beth were left in charge of the Prison along with Michonne still patrolling the ourskirts.

_May 17th. _

Armed with guns, rifles, machetes, axes and hunting knives, the five of you leave the Prison at first light. As usual, the goodbyes are painful, stressful and galons of tears fell as you leave the dear ones. Tyreese leaving his sister Sasha..Rick saying goodbyes to Carl and baby Judith...Hershel to Maggie, Glenn's still bride-to-be. You on the other hand feel glad to move on. The Prison is a safe place, yes it is. But it would be unwise not to check other possibilities. You just hope it won't be reckless. You hope that if anything suspicious comes out, you'll retreat quickly and go back to your safe haven, your home, your Prison. You put all the necessary items in your old backpack. Two bottles of water. An apple. A chocolate bar. A pack of tissues. Extra pocket knife. A compass. A box of ammo. For a second there you consider taking something warm to cover in the night and your eyes fall on a worn out poncho underneath your bed. There is absolutely no reason to leave it here, it could be useful on the road..but...maybe it is finally the time to break up with past? To start over. And leave all the remains of the old world behind? So without a second glimpse you leave your cell, turning your back to everything that used to be so dear to your heart once, and now is all but a dusty memory.

You meet the first group of refugees at midday. A woman and 2 teenage boys, her sons. They were hiding in the woods until now, on one occasion they met others talking about Fort Benning and decided to give it a shot. You bring them in and now head to the fort together. It takes 6 days to reach the iron, spiky and electrocuted fences of this new fortress. But when you finally reach it, it's so huge, so gorgeous, so fortified..it literally sweeps you off your feet. If anyone of you ever doubted that a safe place in this world existed, now was to time to stop doubting.

The facility was huge. Hundreds of tents, a few buildings with national flags attached to them, probably places where the authorities dwell. Big hospital. Several military areas with gun equipment, cars, tanks, siege weapons. You notice all this even before you're all brought into a quarantine zone that everyone must go through before being taken into the camp. Blood tests are conducted. Temperatures measured. Clean clothes given. Fresh fruits and water. You stare at your plums and pears and watermelon like it was brought from another planet. You take a look at a coffee machine. REAL coffee machine. Some people are passing you, each of them carrying a hot-dog. That's too much. You feel dizzy. The smells of this place, the loudness, the colors, all these people...Before you pass out overwhelmed with all the goodness you suddenly witnessed, or maybe just of heat exposure and tiredness...a tiny thought starts to haunt you. _"This cannot be real for long..this is not the world now...it's not right...something is wrong..I wanna go back..We have to go back"._

After a while, you can hear concerned voices of your companions:

"Carol..? Hey, wake up..". Maggie's deep southern accent...

"Sweetie you okay? Imma bring some water.." Tyreese's usual concern..

"Honey..? It's all okay now, we're finally home, Carol..". It was Rick's voice. So sure, so confident. If only you could believe that. After you come to your senses finally, you take a look at your friends and you know, you are sure that they have accepted the new environment and the terms of it so very soon. Well, if finally it's gonna turn out good or bad, remains to be seen. Everyone deserves a fresh start and Fort Benning presents itself as kind of astonishing. For now.

After few initial hours, the militaries provides you a separate barracks, when your whole group could stay until all the inhabitancies were settled. It has places to stay for 10 people (5 small bedrooms), one huge kitchen (the fridge is full and cupboards filled with dishes and all the necessary equipment), fresh water filter is present as well along with whatever necessities you might need meanwhile. There are also two bathrooms, one of them has a shower and another, a bath tube.

You enter the cabin and while you're still impressed with all they managed to do over last months, all they achieved here in this fort..you can't stop to think about people left in the Prison. About Hershel growing crops of tomatoes and soya beans..of Beth singing for the youngest, of Carl and his haylofts and piggys and hens he was in charge of..Of having to wash up in the pond each day, of looking for rivers and waterfalls to prevent infections..Of fighting Walkers all the damn time..On your route here you've only encountered them once, they were weak and slow so it was all easy..You think of all this and suddenly you want to go back to that life..life less perfect but filled with people close to your soul, and memories of those who were left behind..or who left willingly.

Sometimes you wonder if maybe he's heard the message too. Maybe he will eventually come here. If he is still out there. You wanted to believe he is. No one could kill a Dixon but Dixon, no?

Sometimes you're mad at yourself. Thinking of a man who left your universe forever willingly. Like the moment was the one he always craved for and wished for unconsciously. To finally be free of all these people. Of responsibilities. Of looks full of guilt and shame. Of her and her stupid affections. Because you knew he noticed them, you knew and felt it all the way. When he left with his brother...it all didn't mean nothing. He was gone. Like Ed..Sophia..Dale...Shane..Lori..Theodore...

For you right now Daryl Dixon was dead. So there was no reasonable way for him to show up in your life again. And even if he did...Rick was here. For you. To save you from whatever mess Daryl would bring into your life. Your solid stone, your stand-his-ground Sheriff. Your Rick.

Whatever meets you up here in Fort Benning, you are safe with him. And Daryl's hypothetical presence will not trigger anything. It cannot. Not anymore. He's had his chances and screwed it all the way. No more chances are given anymore.

Even if the first night is hard, it's a new beginning. New people around, new chances, new responsibilities. You know that Rick is gonna send Glenn to the Prison to bring others here soon.

A new life has started. And when you wake up the next day, when you walk off your barrack, still half asleep, in the distance you hear a familiar, rough, low voice..and its saying :

"Hey man.. no care 'bout the quarantine thing..Just caught ya a deer..ya want it..ot not?"...


	5. Alarm

_**A/N:**__** My dearest Readers. The time is slowly coming for our main characters to face one another. I know you are all super anxious for this so I won't be prolonging the reunion. What you will get in this chapter may be small, but hopefully somehow fulfilling for a while. Enjoy:) And tons of thanks for all your reviews, it all means the world to me and you guys are the reason I write!**_

_"Hey man.. no care 'bout the quarantine thing..Just caught ya a deer..ya want it..or not?"..._

Stupid guard. He is all about the duties, responsibilities, routines. And routines said: no drinking still water from sources other than provided by the army, no eating food other than provided by the army, no self-fished goods, no self-hunted venison. But damn deer was the best one you've stumbled on for days, weeks even. Thought even stupid guard may be happy to see it as it meant few delicious dinners for the survivors. And quarantine..? Bah. As if you cared. The world may have changed but you were all still infected. And even if Walkers finally were going off, you were still going to become ones when you die. So to the hell with quarantines and such bullshit.

_"Man...if you ask me I'd take it in a heartbeat. But rules you know...And my supervisors...Everyone says no hunted food. The risk of infection is still huge"._

_"Like I care. Not gonna waste good meat. Lived on it all my life, if ya don't want it, you may as well screw yourself with it". _

With that said you drop your prey to the ground and leave the young officer with a grunt and start to head to your barrack. It's located near the river, almost on the outskirts of the camp and that's how you like it. Karen is pleased enough by the proximity of other people, and you're happy to be far enough from them. But it's sure hard to leave old habits aside. No matter how great a breakfast awaits you in the camp cafeteria, all the great fruits, all tastes of coffee and tea, scrambled or boiled eggs, and bacon, and cheese, and bread of all types...It all seems too good to be true and you just find yourself hunting for your food each day, like all those days before. Of course, the authorities disapprove at first. Then they kinda get used to it. Good meat and hunting hands are still a necessity. But the risk of the infection is still out there and only some of the most trusted and well trained soldiers are allowed to hunt without official permission. You are still considered a poacher. But that doesn't mean you won't try to trade your hunted goods for an extra bottle of milk, or a sack of peaches or extra chocolate bars. But this morning the guards are stubborn and official. And what the hell would you do with the heavy, fresh hunted deer that cannot be brought into the fort? You just leave it outside the fence to rot. Of course you could fight, you could argue, you could call names and eventually just fuck it all. But you were a different man now, and you had Karen to take care of..so you didn't want any trouble. If they don't want the deer, fine. No pressure.

_"I could take it"._ A woman's voice breaks the uncomfortable silence_. "I prepare some awsome venison, and I know how to prepare it safely. Been practicing a lot and had good teachers. No need to worry about getting sick, I promise you that, officer". _

The woman is still hidden behind the guard's back but there is something about her voice that makes you extra vigilant all of a sudden. Hair on your neck stand still suddenly and an uncomfortable shiver goes down your spine. This voice...something so familiar, so thrilling and so reassuring, all at once.

The guard turns around to face the woman who just spoke and then you see her.

First thing you notice is her eyes. Huge, blue and surrounded with dark lashes, like always. Next thing is her hair. Its longer, almost at the length of her arms right now. Still black-silvery and curly just the way you've remembered it. And another thing. She is standing there, just a few meters from you, holding a bucket with water and a cowboy hat. She is wearing a long sleeved, black shirt, simple jeans and cowboy boots.

And first thing that comes to your mind now is _"You've changed so much. But your voice has not"._

And she doesn't look at you. Her eyes are focused on the deer you've killed and that smirk on her face, the one that you know so well, is turned to the direction of a young guard, still holding this question if he is even going to let her reach for your prey, or not. Maybe she doesn't even recognize you. Or maybe she doesn't want to. The way you left her and the Prison was way below any decency. Maybe she just doesn't want to know you anymore.

The young guard seems finally defeated by the way Carol's eyes work and her soft voice convinces him to let your prey into the camp to become everyone's tasty dinner. He turns at you as to ask for your permission to leave the deer for this pretty lady on the other side of the fence. But your eyes are all on her and you totally forget about the poor guy, and about whole world around to be honest.

Your legs start to shake. Your heart beats so fast you worry it may jump off your chest finally. You don't trust your voice to say anything, afraid it would break. Carol is here..Carol is alive, Carol looks so great and Carol still manages to draw all these inner emotions from you even without saying anything to you or even looking in your direction.

But finally she does look into your direction and the smirk on her lips begins to fade. You watch as her eyes grow wide, just like yours did a few minutes ago, and her body immediately stiffens. She starts to walk towards you, slowly at first but then her pace quickens, she is almost running, all that she was carrying lays now forgotten on the lawn, and suddenly your crossbow is too, you don't care about the deer anymore, about the soldiers around, about other people.. There is only Carol, and even if you have no idea how to react, what to do, how to greet her, or maybe how to ignore her..your body seems to work on its own as you find yourself heading to her direction.

You are close now, you can see sweat on her collarbones and her teary eyes, you can almost sense her scent, that used to be so familiar to you once. And in this very moment you realize that whatever happened in these two years, whatever choices you made, whatever paths you took, it all didn't matter because it all has led you to this moment this day, to find her again.

It all happens in no more than a heartbeat. Her voice, you noticing her, she noticing you, and your fight whether to proceed or to run, whether to let the moment guide you..or just turn around and pretend nothing has ever happened here at the sideline fence that still separated you from the dead, and from the painful past you all left behind.

And when you finally make your decision to face this past once again, when Carol is so close to you now, suddenly the fidgety silence of this misty morning is broken by another well known voice, low, rough and heavy with a deep southern accent.

_"Whoa lady, you think you'd get away with leaving me alone at so very morning? Already missed you, come back to bed hun.."_

Rick Grimes' loud giggles breaks the spell completely now.

But somehow you still can't believe he too is real. Not until you watch him approach Carol, put his arm around her waist and lean for a kiss. She looks startled, confused, lost, and though she is smiling, she deliberately turns her head almost shyly, so Rick can only kiss the corner of her lips. But her eyes are never leaving yours. Now Rick looks confused. His eyes follow her wide glare and stop, when they find you.

And all you can do now is to continue your approach, but not to her this time. To Rick, your past leader, your past brother and now a man who became a future... for her.


	6. Turbulence

**A/N:** _**Dear Readers. I know, I know! I have been awful keeping you wait for such a long time. But well, I had reasons. I went to ComiCon to meet some awsome TWD cast (Norman and Jon yes!), then I visited Georgia and TWD places...it was all too overwhelming so I won't go into details here. Truth is, it all get me inspired to write again. This chapter may not be the greatest, but after a 2 month break, it's all I managed to write now, and I'm warming up. A reminder - English isn't my native language so forgive me all the bumps and mistakes on the road. The situation for our precious characters is getting pretty dense now so hold on to your seats. Turbulence is coming. **_

_**As always, tons of thanks for all the positive reviews and encouragement. I love you all. Caryl on. **_

_**Challia. **_

"_Rick..."_

"_Daryl..Whoa, that's a surprise_".

You watch Rick's expression carefully. At first, he looks pleased, happy even. Then startled. And then, suspicious.

Daryl's face at the other hand, speaks volumes. His eyes do. He looks at you, then Rick, his eyes are smiling, and then they're not, his smirk fades, his voice returns to the usual roughness you remember so well.

"_Man, how..when..I had no idea_.."

No idea of what? How we all are still alive and kicking? How is Rick alive after he went all nuts after Lori's death..?

"_Of course, how can you have an idea. You were gone_." You cannot hold these words as they slip your mouth. Two pairs of eyes turn to you and you wish you've just kept your mouth shut. Such a big reunion after all. Two years have passed and things are different, you can't refer anymore to what has been, to what may have happened and never finally have. Still, you cannot hold the bitterness in your voice, even if you so much wanted to.

"_I...We've heard the radio message_" . He looks at Rick briefly but never maintains your eye contact.

"_Yeah we..the answer to the infection_..." Rick smiles vaguely. "_Anyway it's just a few of us here. The rest wait at the Prison. "_

"_So you held it_".

"_We did_."

"_Is ehm..everyone ok? Carl..? Asskicker..Hershel?"_

"_Everyone is alive Daryl_ - you can't keep your voice down as much as u want to. It sounds cranky in your ears still. The shock of seeing him here stills your veins, your voice chords..everything - _Where is Merle?"._

You sense a weird anxiety from him. Just like you always have before. That's how you always knew if he was okay, if he was lying, if he was telling you the truth. The smell of this odd confessions remained still on him.

"_Merle is gone_".

Oh. Then who the hell did he refer as "we" at first?

"_I'm sorry Daryl.."_ Rick's voice was low as if he really shared the pain of Daryl's loss. "_You said you've heard the message...are you alone here?_".

You know that Rick's question isn't suspicious or mean or cruel. Everyone of them, each one of all the survivors from their initial group had their own volition and will. Two years have passed. Of course he must have met some people on the way. Daryl was always a loner. But not as much as everyone always thought of him.

"_I...There's Karen with me. She's from Woodbury_".

Woodbury. Where Andrea died. Where Michonne appeared from. Where Daryl left to follow Merle. It turned out that not only him after all. You try not to feel jealousy or pain, or hurt. You have no right to. Daryl made his choice and followed the person most important to him. Stumbled on other people along the way. Just as he stumbled at their small group three years ago in Atlanta.

"_What happened to the Governor_?" You ask him, feeling it's still important, even though you were all now safe sheltered in Fort Benning.

"_Who knows. He just disappeared. All we can hope now he is dead."_ Daryl's voice was plain and emotionless. Much like at the first days at the Quarry, ages ago.

Damn it! You have to stop it, all this comparing things to how they were, world to how it used to be. Because now it was all different. Easier at once so much more complicated. How were you to explain your current situation to Daryl, your love for Rick, your relationship to him... How was he ever going to explain himself to you? He was with this Woodbury girl, and by the sound of it, it seemed solid. You know things have changed, but how much have they changed exactly? Did all the past loose meaning now? New lives, new beginnings? What about Lori? T-Dog? Shane and Dale? The Farm? Sophia? All they have already endured..? Maybe it was just too much. Too much responsibility and pain to watch for. He probably needed a new life. With a new woman. You are okay with that. You just want to see her. Meet her, talk to her. See if she is good for him. See if she is trustful, if she is tender. If she can understand him. Talk to him when he needs it and leave him be when he wants to be left alone. Shut it about his brother, talk about his poor mom instead. Mention his tattoos but not his scars, ever. Joke about sex, but never touch him intimately when there's not the time and not the situation. To help him kill Walkers and make him a deer stew in the evening. Fool around on the watch but remain vigilant at the same time. See him with Rick's baby, play soccer with Carl. Massage his sore shoulder so he can massage hers in return.

You close your eyes.

"_Glenn and Maggie are getting married soon"._ The need to tell him that overwhelms you.

"_Okay.." _He seems confused but okay with the fact.

"_You're invited. Bring a date if you want to. Just you know..for the sake of old times_". Rick doesn't want to sound in charge again, you know it, but you also know what it would mean for him, for all of them if Daryl showed up. If he brought the feeling of the good past with him. If he showed them all he was still there, he was still a friend.

"_I don't care about weddings. It's hopeless anyway." _Typical Daryl.

"_Well, Daryl. If there's any sense of feeling for our group still hidden somewhere..please come. It'll mean a lot to them, I'm sure. " _You mainly mean Maggie and Glenn and Hershel. Your dear family, your friends. It's all true. They worshiped Daryl for all he was worth. When he left, they all felt broke, but Hershel was devastated. So was Glenn- he knew Daryl since the first days of the Apocalypse.

_"It's not like we got more entertaining things to do.. I'll talk to Karen. Guess we'll show up if the Walkers or authorities don't eat us first"._

You look at him standing there in your front lawn. The hour is still early. Sun is red and getting up from the night's rest. There is dew on plants, on the grass.

His clothes are ragged the same way you remembered him, his hair is too long though and he holds a different crossbow now. His eyes never changed. Still hold this half-dimmed glaze at everything around. His back is still very straight but he still moves with his head bent slightly forward. His arms swing along his body while he walks. Like a cat at a hunt. His arms remain bare of course. His pants still have a hole on the knee - of course. How could he never had it fixed...

You turn around reluctantly. Truth is you wanna run to him, to tell him all the truth, all the fact how tough it was without him, how you all missed him, how much your heart was torn apart. But you know you can't do this. Not now with Rick holding your hand like his life depended on it. Not now with Daryl's blue eyes piercing you like spears, looking for answers, looking for understanding. You are aware how complicated both of your lives had become now. You and Rick. Daryl and Karen. The closeness of another person was so needed in this harsh world, was so essential, and you understood it all a bit too late. And now there was no turning back point. All chances that you've once had, to be together, to face the world together, to accomplish things together...it was all lost and forgotten now.

All you have left is just to face the whole new world with all you have, new companions, new feelings, new expectations.


	7. Worries

_**A/N: **__**My Dear Readers. This chapter shows us Daryl's point of view of what he experienced with newly found Rick's group. I remind you that he is still with Karen, so whatever his actions will be now, he will consider her in them. But don't worry. We will get our Daryl/Carol ending. If it will be happy or sad..I don't know yet. Only thing I know is that they are destined to be together, in this world or the next. **_

_**Caryl on.**_

_**Challia. **_

_**Disclaimer:**__**I do not own The Walking Dead.**_

The walk back to your cabin is as well the longest and the shortest walk in your life as you can remember. When you turn your back and eyes from Rick and Carol, determined to go back to your current life right here and right now, as soon as possible...you also have a feeling that time runs so slowly, the air is thick and dense, all sounds are louder now and your feet move slowly within own volition. Is this what shock feels like? You always thought it would be more intense, but at the same time less ..pure, less controllable. All this time when you watched Carol and listened to Rick, you sort of felt like everything was going in slow motion, although you still held all the control over things. You willingly gave them the newly hunted deer. You willingly started to walk - run even - towards Carol, and you willingly and immediately stopped as soon as Rick's voice invaded your space. Was it because you still subconsciously regarded him as a leader, somewhere deep in your mind and heart? Or was it because he was with her? And so close to her, so early in the morning? Well, no matter why and how this all happened, it was a fact. Rick and his group were here now. Hershel and his daughters. Carl and his lil' sister. Glenn. Axel? You turn around your head when you're in safe distance, sure no one can see you now, sheltered by the shadows of trees around. You watch your initial group, gathering now for breakfast on the front lawn of what is supposed to be Rick and Carol's bungalow. A pretty blonde comes to the table placed now firmly on the grass and then gives Carol a big hug and then turns around as if calling someone. Then a little, maybe a year or two old girl runs forward. She has dark hair and big blue eyes. She wears a yellow dress.

You try to swallow a lump in your throat, but your tongue is dry and sore. You know who these 2 girls are. Beth grew up to become a wonderful young woman now. And Asskicker...as gorgeous as ever, now running, sassing, laughing and fussing about everything. Like all kids should. No matter the apocalypse, or the safe base you are all now in...children still remain the same. Sometimes you envy them. All this careless joy and fun and happiness. But on the other hand, Carl never had any. You can see him now in the distance. Sherriff's hat still on his head. He is taller and his shoulders are broader, but he still is a kid. Sixteen now. You wonder briefly how many good moments this young guy had a chance to see in the prison, or outside it.

And Sophia..Sophia never even had a chance to experience any of them.

But no, you don't wanna go there again.

Your grip on the crossbow tightens so much, you might break it. And you know it. But you can't stop watching the group in front of your eyes, even though it's from the distance.

You can see Hershel limpin' but still on his two legs. You guess they found him a prosthetic one. He's grown a nice white beard now and even though he is smiling and sharing the food bowl with a nice young brunette, you can't stop to wonder. How this old but strong farmer became a shadow of a man, a fighting and struggling one, but still a shadow. The brunette's hair is longer than you recall. Her green eyes are smiling as you remembered them. She is holding a hand of an Asian who became so dear friend of yours once. Who your brother once almost beat to death. And you still left him. And her. And all of them.

You turn around preparing to run, to disappear, to get rid of all the emotions that grabbed you all of a sudden while watching this group of people. A group that once was strong, because you were a part of it. Then weak, when you left. And now strengthened again. By trust, believe, and love through its members. You understand love now, Karen has taught you this. But why the love you find in her is so much different than what you see among those people? Between Rick and Carol, and Carl, and Judith, and Glenn, Hershel, Maggie, Beth...and all the strangers you see around but know that they are in now, in order to keep everyone safe..and loved too.

Suddenly you want to bury in her once more, to forger what you just saw, to go back to what you had for the last 2 years. You can see your cabin now, and Karen is sitting on the front porch, like she usually does.

"Hey sweet cheeks!" you yell to her, because you know she will react, like she always does.

"Hey dirty huntsman!" You welcome her broad smile with relief but also anxiety. You will have to tell her about seeing Rick again. And his group. And Carol. Truth is, you never told Karen about Carol and her daughter whose death turned your whole live upside down. Karen suspected though that there was someone else in your life, someone extremely important. But she didn't ask questions, she didn't want to know, and you were grateful for that. But now you want to tell her, and if not now, you know you will have to tell her some day.

Her arms are strong and she smells of grass. Her smile is welcoming but you can sense a worry there.

_"Hey..the hunt went ok?"_

_"Yea. Not much to hunt on these days, the woods are all emptied. But, I got a nice buck"._

_"Oh. Where is it?"._

Her question sort of catches you off guard. Of course you could tell her. There's no point in lying. The camp is huge but their "district" is small, chances are solid for her to stump into other camps soon. And then she will know. It was only a deer. But all that surrounded the brief encounter with Rick and Carol, all the unspoken emotion and feels...Karen should never find this out.

_"I gave it to the guard. Hopefully, they will use it". _

You have a feeling she is sensing your worries and doubts.

_"Hey..all okay? You seem kinda ..off"._

_"M fine. Had a long morning, need a shower"._

_"Want me to join?" _

Karen's question is justified. You usually showered together and it was followed by heated moments and intimacy and love. But not this time. This time you could not. Because all the times you close your eyes you see another woman, a woman with white and tender skin, with freckles all over her neck, with sad blue eyes and sweet voice, someone who you left in a wrong moment, and who now belongs to someone else.

"_Eh..no, I'll be quick here. Got to talk to you after"._

_"Ok..kay"._

Glenn and Maggie's wedding. You still have to decide whether to come or not. Such a small matter, shouldn't mean anything now that the world has ended. But somehow you know that this is your matter also, your responsibility. They were your people, your friends. And you left them, which was worst choice you ever made, now you are sure of that. Of course the wedding itself is nothing. The whole idea of marriage seems stupid to you now at the world that it is. But somewhere deep in your mind, or heart maybe, starts to form this feeling of acceptance, appreciation, and approval for what they are about to do. Because even now, in times of war, even now, when the world has gone to shit, even now, which is ridiculous and you by all means don't approve it..even now, there is still a meaning behind it. And that is why you have to come. To find and see this meaning.

_"Daryl?"_ She is worried, you know that. Her voice speaks volumes. She is so afraid to loose you, so afraid.

_"Heey Dimples.."._ You try to sound funny, teasing, like always with her.._Dimples_ was a nickname you came out with about the first week you have met, is suited her pretty face and large eyes. How came you could have never found a nickname for Carol..? Freckles would be okay..but would she even liked it? No idea. You never had a chance to see.

_"Where are you? " I am here with you,_ you wanted to reply. I have always been with you. But that ain't true and you are not a liar.

_"Wha..?"_

_"You're away..ever since you came back from your hunt...what happened there?" _

There is no point in lying or avoiding the answer.

_"I found others. My formal group. From Atlanta, you now". _You can't look into her eyes now, and you're not sure why. You are not lying to her, you are not being un faithful. It's the truth you're about to bring up, that may hurt her. And you're so afraid.

_"Are they alright? Sherriff Rick and all the others you spoke about?". _

_"They are all alive, how weird this is."_

_"You spoke to him?"_

You can only just nod.

_"What did he say?"_

_"A pair of...of our friends are about to get married here. How stupid is this. But they want us to come."_

_"Us. You and me?"_

_"Yes. I told them, you and I are...well, you're with me now."_

_"Do you want to go?"_

_"I dunno really. I mean, I wanna see if Glenn and Maggie are okay and all, but wedding...and all the others...I dunno"._

_"Why are you afraid?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"Why are you so afraid? Who else is gonna be there?"_

_"Why u think I am afraid of anything?"._

_"Because otherwise you'd be all anxious and kickin'. Like you always are when a new interesting event or place is around. I know you Daryl, you can't fool me."._

_"What..what you mean now?"_

_"This woman you always think of when we make love. _

_You always whisper her name when we're together. Carol, right? _

_Is she gonna be there too? Please tell me Daryl. I think I deserve to know."_

The air from your lungs seems to be gone now. How did Karen find out? Are you that obvious? Were you always that obvious? And certain..? At one point you feel like a piece of shit for hurting your woman like that. On the other hand, you feel relief. Maybe it is time to take a different turn. Maybe it's time to stop lying to yourself. It's always been her, Carol. It has always been her.

Karen just looks at you, not hurt, not wounded..just curious..and then turns away.

_"I'm going to bed. If you don't wanna come, I understand.". _

You know that this night, you will spend alone.


	8. Downfall

_**A/N:**__** Many, many thanks for all your reviews guys! You keep me going on and I am so thrilled to find people around who share my pov on Daryl/Carol relation. It's not all happiness, they both have to work for it. And they will, trust me. It's just all hard work and broken feelings, shattered hearts...fallen promises. But it's all in favor of bringing them together, which I think we'll achieve finally. Caryl on:)**_

The hot shower is a luxury so un obtainable not so long ago. But now it is all you needed to wash the grimes of the past day off yours kin. It was a hell if the day. Since the first light. First, Judith got sick and in order for not to wake up Rick and Carl and alarming the whole camp, you took care of her all by yourself, as she painfully vomited. Then, when she finally felt a bit better and fell asleep, at the very first light that morning, you went out to bring fresh water for the horses since someone needed to take care of them as well. Usually it was Michonne who did, but last night she stormed off after having a not so nice exchange of words with Glenn about your current situation, and until now she remained not to be seen anywhere around. Well, maybe the whole sudden friendly surroundings of Fort Benning reminded her of a town from not so long abandoned past, where everything seemed to be nice and okay..until suddenly all hell broke loose and everyone was forced to look soberly and straight into the truth.

Anyway. As soon as you got out to get water, you heard noise outdoors. And that was Daryl, and he was arguing, of course. You don't really know what was there that you were expecting, how you were expecting to see him...but on the other hand, somehow you have always known that if you two meet up again, it must be extraordinary. And here you were. He, covered in black clothes and red blood all over his hands and neck, and you...same black outfit, holding a bucket of water, feeling strong and confident, but kneels getting week every time he speaks. How not-cool this is. How expected and how dis encouraging at the same time. But then again, it's Daryl. For so many days and months you prayed for his safety, for his happiness. Now he is here. Safe and happy by the sound of it. He is with someone, a woman. Karen.

Two years have passed. Both of you thought the other is either dead or gone. Not that you constantly thought of him. You had other responsibilities and interests. But ever once in a while this thought of him sneaked up into your mind, like a wild snake, even if you fought to chase it away. Slowly, at one point you even came up to a realization that having him with another woman would be ok. Because you were with another man. Rick provided safety, Rick provided happiness and intimacy at the same time. He was your future, he led you all outta this Governor mess. Finally you all ended up here, where Shane wanted. The memoriam of Shane was still fresh and sorrowful for Rick so you never pushed the subject. You never got to know Shane the way he surely deserved but you always had a feeling he was a good man. Daryl and Dale always disapproved. But you knew better. Shane wanted to sacrifice for Sophia and for your greater good, but he was just blinded by his own aggressive emotions, just like you now. The fact that you just saw Daryl, how he looked, the way he talked to you, how he responded to your invitation to Glenn and Maggie's ceremony. He reminded you of Shane. Because of turning back. Of pretending like everything was okay and it wasn't. You doubt he'll show up at the wedding. It is all worth shit in Daryl Dixon's universe. Pointless. Faithless. You think of all this and at the same time you wander off for your so much savored hot shower to get some fresh air and cold loneliness that you needed for a while now. Your life with Rick has been flawless. Close moments, deep love and insightful intimacy. That's what you are. He took so much care after you when Daryl took off with his brother. You helped him with his children equally. How is this that in the possibility of having Daryl Dixon back in your life, it all seems to fade? All the past that you've had with Rick..nothing of this matters now anymore, now that you've seen Daryl's piercing eyes, strong arms, and witnessed his sarcastic humor once again. How is that possible that your feelings for Rick seem so shallow now. Maybe they always were. Maybe unconsciously you waited for this moment, maybe deep inside you knew where your heart lied all of this time.

As you sit on the front porch of your bungalow you grow more and more anxious. You can't sleep tonight. Not after what happened in the morning. You found a pack of cigarettes somewhere deep in your stash. You don't smoke, you never do. but you need it now, so much.

She appears from nowhere really, from the fog or just shadows. She moves like a wild animal, slow and silent. But you notice her sharp breathing and wild black curls in the light of a candle.

_"Karen...?"_

"_You know who I am?"_ Her voice is hoarse, unsure.

_"I figured"._ Of course, who else would be showing up here in the middle of the night?

_"What are you doing here Carol?"_ She tries to relax you both. You know it, but you subconsciously don't want her to feel too comfortable.

_"Oh. You obviously know my name"._ He told her. That's how she knows.

She smirks bitterly_. "I've been hearing your name at night from Daryl for last 20 months now. Couldn't miss you out"._

_"What..what you mean?" _Confusion, again.More comfortable now, no idea what changed.

"_At night...when we were together...it was your name on his lips..all the time..it was you. Only You."_

How do you find an answer for such words..how do you repost...how can you even reconsider... And why is this woman so bold..why is she so honest..?

_"Karen...I think you're mistaking me for someone...Daryl and I never had..."_

She cuts you out.

_"Of course you never had. How could you. This takes LOVE to make such a step no?"..._She nods silently and sadly. And you feel sorry for her all of a sudden. She looks lost. A pleading in her eyes, a terrible wish_.. _

_"I love him more than anything in my entire life. Please Carol. Even if somehow you remain in his memory now, just let him go. He is happier without it. Trust me. He is happier with me."_

Speachless. Confused. Sad. Lost. Is all you feel now. How can you answer her? Do you wanna be true? Or do you wanna fight? You've never been much of a fighter. And this man abandoned you ages ago, why would you wanna fight and why do you even consider it?!

But the truth eating you right now is that you hate that beautiful brunette so bold in front of you. You hate the good and just Sherriff who takes care of your life but controls it too. You hate the wild hunter who wanted to save you, to save your daughter, who rescued you numerous times..and who left in a heartbeat..who found what he was looking for with Karen..

With so many thoughts rambling in your head now, all you can reply now is simply:

_"You wanna smoke?"_

You hand her a pack of Marlboro's.  
She chuckles.

_"Sure"._ She hesitantly throws a glimpse in your direction.

_"Karen, I wanna make things clear here. Daryl and I...we were never a thing. Ever. We were just good friends. No matter what you hear from him, or other members of our group...he was always alone, he wasn't with anyone. He left our group for his personal reasons and...whatever he found in you must be hell of a special thing, because he settled with you Karen. And Daryl never settles with anyone. He is a lone wolf, always was. You are his only love Karen. don't you ever doubt that"._

"_Why does he whisper your name then huh?"_

_"Because he feels guilty. For not saving my daughter. Is all." _A thing you wanted to believe so much it hurts. Party, it was true. On the other hand, it wasn't.

With that final statement you feel now is a good time to abandon the conversation. You have no idea why he screams your name when being with Karen. You dont wanna know. You just wanna survive Maggie and Glenn's wedding in two days time. And go back to your slow, safe and pleasant life with Rick and his kids. Slow, safe..dull...un expecting...but slow and secure just like a steady cruise over calm tides of an ocean.

Safe and steady. Good for the Apocalypse.


	9. Unconscious

_**A/N**__**: Dear Readers. I honestly suck at summaries. This chapter was meant to be wedding one. But somehow I ventured into Daryl's mind and I couldn't get out. I can't write his character at all, I know that, I am not doing him justice but I can't help trying to figure out what is going on in his mind. So, this chapter is what came out of this. Enjoy. I promise next one will be less philosophic and more action! Caryl on guys:)**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own The Walking Dead. **_

_June 12th _

The TV screen is blinking at you. The news channel is on, but you're not sure if it's indeed working. Ever since you came here, it's all been a mess. Now the bits and pieces of what's supposed to be the actual "news" here are coming from the TV screen but it's all local. Fort Benning made. It says all the current news. How many "biters" have been spotted and eliminated today. How many new survivors encountered. Is there a picnic on Sunday. Wait, no there isn't. There's a wedding. One of the newcomers who showed here not so long ago is getting married to another! A beautiful brunette and an Chinese-like guy.

But you know better, he is Korean. Glenn. Maggie.

You turn off your TV now. Enough of morning news for you. Your arms and neck feel as if they need a physician. Your mouth is dry and hangover is killing your head. Yes, last night was tough. After Karen kicked you out of bed you found yourself at the porch balcony, with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Thinking. Feeling sorry for yourself. Pitying your life.

Ever since you came here, life has turned into uncontrollable mess. You hate it. People coming to greet you, seem happy to see you even. Beth Greene came to you this morning with a peach pie. A peach pie!? Saying she was looking forward to reuniting again. Even asked you about Merle. Of course you scoffed her off. She left but not convinced. Then Hershel came round. The old vet seemed genuinely happy for seeing you again, he even hugged Karen as if she was theirs. Rick never came again. Neither has Carol. You know that you are going to see them at the wedding if you come. Glenn showed up at your house tonight though. He was cold and official. Handed you the written invitation. Even though it was truly pathetic and old school at times like this, you folded it carefully and hid in your back pocket. Maggie never showed up. Maybe she still holds a grudge for whatever Merle did.

Karen hardly spoke to you today. Last night, you spent on the couch. And you knew she came home late at night. You didn't ask where did she go, it was her own thing. Maybe she was pissed at you, maybe she needed time for herself, you have no clue, you are not good with all this stuff still, even after spending 2 years in a steady relationship. Truth is, she discovered your night whispers, your passionate moans. That is your mistake probably. Whispering Carol's name...Why did you anyway have to say her name? Why of all the names of all the women you knew in your life, and there were plenty, it had to be Carol? In the last two years you did all the best to not to think of her much. When you saw children walkers, you recalled Sophia, yes and you recalled Carol then too. When you stumbled on any of the old abandoned farmhouses, you thought of Carol and how she used to come bring you food, how she used to bring you out of your wild stupor, your damn stubborness after Sophia died, your aggressive moments she always fought for you to overcome. Every time you knew you were in proximity of the old prison, now you know, inhabited...there was always her face hunting you at your sleep, saying "stay safe". God damn it. If only you could forget. If only you could go back to these days. The way you saw her now, how she looked, the way she acted, how strong and confident she was, how she held on to Rick...

"_She seems nice you know" . _Karen's voice is dim and empty, rid of all the emotion.

"_Huh? Who is nice?"_

_"Her. Carol"._

_"What?"_

"_I had a lil chat with her last night"._

_"Really? 'bout what?"_

_"I just wanted to know what's there about her you love so much"_

_"What..? Karen.."_

"_Don't .. Daryl. She loves Rick, your leader right? That's who he is. I'm calm now. I saw the way she talks of him, and the way she speaks of you. You're no more than a cold memory. So leave it be. Leave her and them be. For the sake of us all". _

No more than cold memory. Right. Of course. Rick surely gives her happiness and keeps her warm at night. He is a good man. She's been through hell in her life, it's been enough. She deserves a good and caring man, like Rick, your brother in arms, your brother...But the look in her eyes...the look in her eyes... Blue, wild, angry, crazy, spinning, promising, hoping. And this morning she turned around and left. And you were forced to tell Rick that you and Karen will attend the wedding. Because you owe him that. Because you owe it to Maggie, who never was unkind to you, who always treated you like a close friend. And Glenn? He was with you from the beginning, you can't abandon him now. And others. Hershel...Carl...Judith..Carol...

_"Karen, honestly. I don't really give a shit. Can we please stop ramblin' on that and go back to our lives now? I got hunt planned for this morning and all this talkin'n'predictin' doesn't necessarily make it easier. I'm gonna turn in"._ And with that, you just wanna go and disappear in the green woods, hopeful no one will find you there. The sun is about to rise, the wedding day incoming. Red morning, red skies, high temperature, high humidity. Typical Georgia day. Yet, gonna be so different still.

_"Daryl?" _Her voice is hopeful, your answer irritated.

_"What..?"_

_"Are we going..? To this wedding today? Are we in? I..well, I'd prefer to know". _

_"I guess. Not a big thing though, just be ready by six. This whole ceremony starts at seven."._

And with that you leave her. To the woods. The green is calling you, screaming at you to join, to drown yourself into the wild, to forget yourself and the others around you...sometimes you wish you could just vanish, fall unconscious, forget all the responsibilities and drama of this new world you've stumped into. To just go back to a calm surroundings of Hershel's farm, proximity of these people, even if this could cost your life. Somehow deep inside you realize how conflicted you are, but soon you will have to face the reality. The wedding. You're coming because Karen wants to be familiar with your formal group. Because you think you owe them some. Because you want to see Maggie and Glenn happy. Because you want to see the rest of them, your group, your family. And Carol. Most of all you want to see her too. Talk to her. Find out how life has been to her. If Rick has been good to her. If she missed you. If she ever thought of you. If there was ever a tiny teeny chance. If she could hold you back if you threw yourself in her arms now. Because that's what you want. If she could kiss you back fiercely, if you kissed her now, because that's what you want. If she could love you the way you love her, the way you always had, the way you always whispered her name when being with Karen...But the night is approaching and you had a tough day. Talking to all these people, no one of them mattered so much. Your hunt awaits you as soon as the moon rises.

You light up another cigarette.

Tomorrow is a new day, a wedding day. Whatever masks are about to come off then, it will happen. And you will be ready. There's always a reason for things like that. Not that you think Glenn and Maggie's wedding is THE thing. But Carol will be here, and she needs to know. She needs to know everything. Otherwise it will eat and kill you inside. And before it happens, she needs to know. Of all what happened when you left with Merle, of what happened to him, of your cabin in the woods, of Karen's choices, of yours. Of how it kills you every each day to be away from Carol, of how guilty you feel for abandoning her. Because even if leaving the group was an act you took scarcely, even if it wasn't easy, it was always that leaving her got to your guts the most, it was always her you felt most guilty about.

So tomorrow will be the day then. The day of truth, the day of revealing secrets. And you will go. Otherwise the past will eat you alive and your remorse will hunt you forever.


	10. Impact part 1

_**A/N:**__** Dear Readers. First of all, I'm sorry for the mood in latest chapters, I was having bad days and it influenced my story I guess. But thankfully, here we go again, with new day and new situation our characters all have to face now. The reunion. I hope it will go smoothly for everyone, but at the same time, I know it can't. Some vows will be said, some will be broken. Tension will rise and tension will find the release. Truth will be told, and truth usually hurts. **_

_**This is written from both Daryl and Carol's pov. **_

_**Thank you all for reviews and follows/favourites so far. Without it, I could not write again. **_

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_**I do not own The Walking Dead.**_

_"Hey Charlie! Charlie! Here boy, come on!" _The damn dog always fails to listen to you. It's Rick everyone listens to, even the dog.

"_Charlie! God damn it!"_ You give up and he dog just disappears into the bushes. Too bad for it. Food has been brought, and it will miss it.

The morning has been hard. You all went to the cantina for breakfast and dozens of people you've seen there...of course you've already seen other survivors but the amounts of them now, well, let's just say after spending months in a prison with max 20 people, it was all so overwhelming. You find Rick there. And you approach.

_"Hey Officer"._

"_I hate when you call me that"._

_"Lori called you that."_

_"Lori died a long time ago. "_

The forbidden name comes out unintentionally but it doesn't cause pain anymore. Rick is way over his late wife now. It doesn't mean you are. Changing the subject seems the safest road, so you just ask:

_"The damn dog is gone again. You might want to call it here, Judith will be happy"._

He looks at you with this strange glimmer in his eye, like he is x-raying your soul, or questioning or interviewing you, and you know you can't suppress this, nor you can lie, because he will know instantly. It used to be his job, working people out.

_"Carol?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"You're tense, why?_

_"I'm not. Really. It's just this damn wedding, keeps me on my heels. Been a while since we've had anything to celebrate here"._

_"I should be the one afraid, I'm actually the best man today". _

_"And you will be awesome. You always are"._

You kiss him lightly, don't maintain eye contact, and quickly turn around. So he can't see the thin line of your mouth. And wrinkles around your eyes. And this one single tear falling. For no reason at all.

_"Charlie! Damn dog where have you gone?"_

* * *

As the sun starts to annoy you more and more, the feeling of running some place else is more and more urgent. Karen is gone this morning, seeing her Woodbury friends. She even asked you to come along, but somehow you feel the lesser survivor of Woodbury than of Prison, Farm, Quarry, Atlanta...you know these are not your people and you don't wanna hang out with them. Not much to hunt on these days as well. You went for a usual hike this morning, only to see a few partridges deep in the woods. Not even a point in bringing them in, damn soldiers will catch it up and stop you anyway.

Besides, it's a wedding day. Not a damn clue what to bring as present. Karen is quite excited still, even though all the doubts and unclear situation you lately been having with her. But you know you should go. For Maggie, your sister. For Glenn, your brother. Hershel, father you never had. For Rick, your guide. And for Carol, your light in the dark, your conscience. So reluctantly, but you unfold a white shirt form your baggage, clean blue jeans and a sharp razor.

If your'e gonna do this, you as well may do it right.

The hot shower water brings you calamity. You shave first time in months, it makes you feel exposed, but in a good way. Your hair is clean, smells nice, but you know you need a haircut sooner or later. The hair gets in your way, high time to fix it.

You don't wanna think about the inevitable meeting with your former group. You've already seen enough of their punishing looks, witnessed enough of their fake affection. Only real reason for you to go there is Karen. Because she wants to go to feel again this sense of normality. And Carol. Because she will be there, because she has always been there with all of them. _All of "us". _If you ever counted as one of "us".

Those two women. Fierce Karen, all nature, all instinct, all love and passion. And Carol. So distant, yet so close, all the time. Calm and steady, but a fighter and passionate warrior at heart. That's how you always saw her. Your separation hasn't changed her that much from what you saw so far. It has strengthened her. Made her even more solid. As hard as a rock, immune. Self sufficient. Like ice.

You step out to the front porch as the sun slow starts to go up, only to find a small lost mongrel hiding from your eyes.

_"Hey boy...Come'ere...hey, don't be scared"._

The dog slowly approaches you and licks your face. It's body is trembling, you can tell it's still a puppy and it's lost.

_"Hey buddy, where's your master now? I can't keep you here, don't even know your name". _

_"Charlie. That's his name." _That voice is unmistakable. Deep and gentle, like always.

You raise your eyes up, smile, and try to hold on firm and self-conscious, like you always do.

_"See that's your missing dog then". _

She stands there, in the rays of rising sun. Her blue eyes focused at the dog. You know they're blue, 'cause you've spent hours before looking into them, in another time, another era. And then, just recalling them. Blue, but dark like a storm incoming.

_"He is ours yes. Charlie, our new guiding star."_

Carol smiles sadly and begins to turn away. The urge to stop her is immediate and unstoppable.

_"So...um...see you at the wedding tonight. "_

_"I didn't know you guys were coming"_

_"Glenn came to invite us. Karen thinks it would be good to show up"._

_"Karen is right."_ Her smile is broad and sincere.

_"I will see you there. "_ and with this simple statement, Carol turns away with Charlie by her side, and leaves.

_"The ceremony starts at seven"!_

_"I know. We'll be there. I will..be there"._

She smiles at you and begins to leave. You want to hold her still in that very place at your front lawn, but you know you cannot.

They belong to different worlds now.

* * *

A Cherokee Rose.

Simple gesture, full of wordless meanings.

A cursed flower.

You never wanted to see it again. But somehow it is now beside your bed. Near a pretty green dress you chose for Glenn and Maggie's wedding this evening.

You could have thought it was Rick who brought it here for you. Rick or someone else who knew what significance this small flower remains for you. Only, almost no one really knew that. And the rose was in a beer bottle. Again. Just like years ago.

You walk out of the shower cabin wrapped in a towel, your curly hair a mess, and your skin hot and wet. The air is filled with moist from the hot shower you took. The flower is the first thing you notice after you walk into your small bedroom. The bungalow is emptied, you share it with Rick, Carl and Judith, but you know Rick is right now talking with the Fort Benning authorities, and Carl is probably out with Judith and your dog, Charlie, having good time in a sunset somewhere outside your little hideout. You turn instinctively to the mirror over the bed, and that's when you see it. Letter's already start to fade. But somewhere on the steamy mirror reflection you notice small and unsure writing, and in a heartbeat you know who it must belong to.

_"I still remember". _

He shows up while you're dressing up. You recognize his smell before you see him in the doorway. He's always smelled like this. Of gun powder and leather, of goodness and doubt. He smiles to you, his hands find your waist and you feel safe again. For all these long months, he has managed to keep you and all the others safe. And he guided you all here, to Fort Benning, the Safe Zone. Truth is you've had many bumps throughout the months of this relationship, but Rick has managed to give you something precious. Safety. Yes, he always fought for it yes, he always somehow managed to achieve this, with smaller or bigger losses along the way, ever since you've met. He fought for you in the Quarry, at the Farm, and at the Prison. Now he led your group here, to Fort Benning. And the infection, that turned the world into living hell, finally started to retreat. You felt safe again. Safe enough to walk the dog each morning, to have a cup of coffee on the front porch, to take a shower in a real bathroom and with a real hot water and soap...Things were good now, simple things, simple moments. Happiness, finally. And you owe this to your man, your Rick. The fact that he joined you so long ago, that he stayed for you when all seemed lost for him after Shane and Lori died, that he fought for you and led you here. And somewhere in between, you two fell in love. Calmly, simply, practically. No hot sweaty moments, no heap of emotions, no rolling thunders under your skin. It just felt natural, obvious to happen, and when it happened all the group cheered for you, and you know they wish you well.

And even though you love Rick beyond imagination, even though you can't imagine anyone else in your life right now...this flower beside your bed still bothers you. Makes you confused. How should you react, how should you take this new information, this new signal? And the writing on your mirror_? "I still remember"..._ Bah. Remember what? The days spent together? Endless roads traveled on his motorcycle together? Search for your lost daughter? The tombs? The awkward but precious moments in Prison? How he left? Why he left? And why he never came back to you?

You blink and shake your head. Too many questions make you confused. Rick is in the shower now and when he gets off, he will surely ask questions. So you clean up your steamed mirror fast, you remove the beer bottle with a Cherokee Rose in it, and put it in your closet. Somehow you can't just throw it away. It would feel wrong. It would feel like losing all hope. And all memories.

Still more than an hour to the wedding. Maybe you should calm down, read something, something to keep you focused of the happy time this night. You reach for one of the most important books you managed to get last months. Poetry. You never liked it. But this one poem always takes your attention, and it became your favourite. Sometimes you just wonder why.

* * *

_Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice. _

_**Robert Frost. **_


	11. Impact part 2

_**A/N: **__**Dearest Reader. This chapter is **__**maybe not of my best, it's not how I'd want this all to turn out, but it's been stuck in my head for a while now. It's very sad, it is full of drama, but it's all about love and fate. So if you're up for some tears, some angst and grief, here it goes. I fell in love with D. Parton whilst my trip to US this summer so forgive me that please. Sometimes I can't help as to be a helpless romantic. As always, I write in 2nd person and present tense, so be prepared. This is written from Carol's point of view. Daryl's pov will come next, I promise you. I will try to update as soon as I can. **_

_**Well, enjoy. **_

_**Disclaimer**__**: I do not own The Walking Dead. **_

The _Lancome _mascara is old and sticky. It's been ages since you put any make up on your face but this night feels a right time. You're all in a military safe zone, and even though there are no luxuries around you, it still would feel nice to dress up like a woman and make up like a woman. Your blue eyes, black eyelashes, a bit of silver eye shadow and pink lipstick, it would all go well with a short green dress you wear. And with high heels, you almost forgot how to move with them on. Truth is you've never really had time to practice - after you married Ed Peletier, things like that were simply out of the picture. But right now, seeing Rick's adoring face, you know that somehow you've managed to do it all right.

_" Carol..."_

_"Huh?"_ You smile mischievously. You know what's on his mind and what's he trying to say. You put a lot of an effort to look like that and clearly it is worth of his reaction.

_"You look...not like YOU..at all.."._

_"Thank you"._ You almost trip on your shoes but Rick doesn't notice at all.

_"What I mean..you look fantastic. Amazing. Almost extra-terrestial. You're stunning". _

_"Well, amazing what a bit of a makeup can do. Come on Officer, there's a wedding for us to attend". _

_"So you sorted things with Daryl now?"_

You're amazed how observant he is. He noticed all the tiny bits of how you interacted with others, including Daryl.

_" Why are you telling me this Rick?"_

_"You were close to him, in the past, and he to you... I wanted to know you're prepared for it."_

_"Prepared? For what exactly?"_

_"He left you. Us. He left us. And as far as I remember, you didn't take it easily". _

_"That was a long time ago Rick. Daryl Dixon can't influence me in any way now"._ And as soon you leave Rick aside with a cute smile on your face, and a shadow on your mind, you know all you've just told him is a lie. Because no matter how hard you try to contain him, deny him, shoo him away...Daryl will always be there in some form to haunt your dreams and thoughts. Facing him in a minutes time will not make it easier, but it is a step you must take now, for the sake of you and your family.

* * *

You and Rick approach the small church on the outskirts of Fort Benning, the ceremony is starting now and as you walk the center aisle to take your places, as you get seated in your bench.., one at the back of the room.., you realize that the person sitting right next to you is.. Daryl. And he is holding a hand of a pretty brunette, Karen. The woman who asked, pleaded you to stay away from them, from Daryl, to stop to haunt his dreams.. It doesn't matter now anyway. Daryl is here now. Inches apart. He looks at you. You try to look at Rick, to Maggie, Carl, Glenn, Hershel, Beth...anywhere to avoid his piercing eyes. But when you turn to him, you feel almost naked. He is staring at you. Like he's seen you for the first time. It's disturbing, but in a good way. You can feel your stomach clench, goose bumps appear on your naked shoulders and suddenly you feel embarrassed, not sure why. You don't say anything to him, only Rick reaches his hand to greet Daryl and the beautiful brunette at his side - Karen...You just smile stupidly, not able to form any words.

He looks so neat and clean and official now. Whatever's happened to him in these 2 years...well, he certainly has changed. White shirt, sleeveless of course, but still white and clean, denim pants, leather boots.. different Daryl. Different man. But then you take a look at everyone else around you. At Maggie and Glenn, shining out at the altar..Beth and Hershel, in tears...in their best clothes, Carl and Judith in a weird but sweet yellow dress...Michonne and Tyreese, still distant as always but smiling, although keeping their guard all the time.

The world has changed, again.

The music stops and Glenn Rhee and Margaret Greene take their vows now. It's touching. Tears run down your face. Why? It's stupid. You've cried at your own wedding years ago, so happy, so foolish. You know Glenn really loves Maggie and she loves him as well. If there ever was a love more true and fitting to the apocalypse, it was theirs. Everyone here knows that. And they should have gotten married long ago. But things that occurred in the last 2 years prevented it from happening. Fight with the Governor - Philip Blake, a self pitied businessman with low self esteem and a lost family.., then struggle to stay alive with whatever provisions and water you've got left..., then your way here...Now it was finally the perfect time for them to get married.

Your hand at the church bench tightens as you notice another hand, a bit bigger and rougher, closing into yours. His fingernails are clean now, but bitten still. A bad habit he never seemed to get rid of. He is just an inch away, you could just grab him, squeeze his hand, tell him it's all okay, that you're not sorry and neither should he...but you can't do it. Not with Rick by your side and the dark haired woman by Daryl. She looks at him like he was stars and moon and sun all at once. So you can't talk to him, you can't take his hand, even though you know, it's all Daryl wants right now. He still looks at you, his eyes still hungry for you. But it's not the time yet.

* * *

The music is soothing and relaxing. You swing to it delicately, some wine in your veins, some heat on your skin...the Georgia summer is still unbearable, but this night...it's all about charm, and mood, and instinct...Rick's arms hold you steadily, his hot breath against your skin and your hands on his neck...Oh how you wish the night could last forever...Only those delicate touches in the dark, whispers to your ears, hot air in your lungs...His blue eyes, his uniform, deep southern accent...his rough skin against yours, his tattoos, the smell of leather, of gas, of cigarettes, of blood...his rough voice...

_"Carol?"_

_"Rick?"_

_"You ok?"_

_"I love you."_

_"I know:) ._He holds you closer, kisses your temple_. "And that's good. That's how it was always supposed to be. I love you too, Carol, I hope you know that by now". _

_"I know. Known for months..Thank you for bringing us here. "_

_"Are u happy now?"_

_" Yes. Rick?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I'm still scared. This place...it's too perfect. And Daryl Dixon is here. What does it mean?"_

_"Yes he is here. The place is what we have to take our chances for. The world has ended. It may have a chance to rebuild now. If it will, trust me, I will never leave you, for anyone. Not my son, daughter, not our group. You are the first. Always."_

That's so sweet. Not true though. You don't believe him. Not after all that's happened.

_"What about Daryl? What should I tell him?"_

_"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."_

_" He left us."._

_"He had his reasons Carol. We don't owe him anything. I hope u know that". _

_"I do". _

This whole conversation feels creepy all of a sudden. You're all in a huge tent, some form of ballroom, people dancing around you, cheering, smiling, being happy. Rick lets go of your hand, kissing it first, then goes to check on Judith, and Beth holding her. Carl is in a corner smoking a cigarette with one of Woodbury teenagers, oh well, that's what the young do. Hershel is dancing with Maggie, Glenn with Karen, Daryl's woman this evening. She is beautiful, stunning with dark eyes and locks around her face. In a stunning purple dress. White and glorious smile all the way. Michonne and Tyreese as always, are nowhere to be seen, the watch is still a big thing.

An old Dolly Parton's song starts playing in the background.

Oh shit, no way. Why this song, why now?

_**"If I should stay**_

_**I would only be in your way**_

_**So I'll go **_

_**But I know**_

_**I'll think of you every step of the way.."**_

The pairs start to form and you find yourself left alone again. Like in the high school and college. The long-haired, deep-eyed beauties always stole everyone. You were just a stand-out. Someone to take as the last form of affection. And this time Rick is nowhere around, busy with his children, he disappeared somewhere. You shiver and consider heading out to your barrack. You turn around and then a warm hand grabs your elbow.

_**"And I...will always love you, I..**_

_**will always love you.."**_

You turn around to look into his blue eyes.

_"What?". _You manage to spit out, not caring to even know the answer.

_"Don't run."_

_"I'm not"._

_"Stay now."_

_"Why?'_

_"Talk to me Carol"_

All of this situation, the way he talks, the way he looks at you, his whole attitude feels too unreal for you to comprehend so u just manage to say:

_"Who are u now?"_

_" It's me, Daryl. You know me."._

_"No. No I don't. I knew a man who was scared of his own shadow, of anyone being close to it, of his own self...who are you? With her? What happened to you?"_

Tears start to stream down your face but u don't care. You have a right to know. The Daryl you knew, you cherished, you loved...was someone else now. And you had to know what happened to him, what changed him. And why.

_"Carol...please"_

_"What?! What u want me to do, huh?_ You mirroring his words from ages ago, seems right, at the same time seems not.._Smile and hug and tell u it's all okay? Well, it's not. You left Daryl! You left us! You left us..." _You sob now, words hard to distinguish._ "You left us..."_

_"Come here"._

Suddenly his warm and strong arms that you remember still so well, embrace you and despite everything, your fury, breakdown, tears and screams and all those people around...you let him cuddle you to the sweet sound of the music, to the lullaby that u both need, and as Dolly Parton sings along, you manage to say those tiny little words to him, finally.

_"I waited for you. All this time. I waited. And you never came back. "_

He doesn't respond right away. Second later he asks you an inevitable question.

_"Why Rick? Of all the men out there..why him?_

_Why didn't I notice anything? All this time.."_

_"There wasn't anything to notice. I just took care of his kids. And through the months..it just happened. And you left. And we were weak. We sort of found strength in one another."_

His breath has shallowed and his body went stiff. Rigid. Official.

_"Hm. It just happened..If I only knew it only took a few days for me to be away so he could "happen" to find his way into your pants.."_

_"Daryl. It took a lot more than that and u know it. You know I would have never..."_

_"You woulda never what? Jumped to bed with him if u didn't know I was gone?! You would have never bound to him if u knew we end up here finally?!"_

_"Daryl, please.."_

_"Rick was my friend! And I thought u were too! How the fuck did u two end up together?!"_

_"It just happened..I didn't choose this!"_

Silence. It's all that's waiting for you now. Maybe he went out of words, maybe he cannot argue anymore.

_"Was it all there before I left?_

_"Daryl.."_

_"WAS IT THERE BEFORE I LEFT?!"_

_"No!"_

"No?"

_"Before u left..I would never have looked at any man this way. Only.. you... Only YOU"._

You feel guilty. Which is ridiculous of course. He has no right to be possessive now, not after he left first. But somehow you feel that whatever you have with Rick is now way less important that what Daryl shares with that beautiful brunette woman, Karen.

He holds you close now, you can smell him thoroughly, the sweat, blood, gasoline. Even though he is clean and his clothes are fresh. The significant smell will stay there forever. His eyes lock on yours and you can feel him leaning towards you. It would be so easy, to just push up and lock his lips with yours. To seal the deal. Make yourself his, just like you always desired. But somehow this task feels more complex than all the others you have made through the years.

Dolly's song comes to an end.

_**"And I...I will always love you...I will always love...you.."**_

You know that now that music has stopped you should part. The party seems to be much dead anyway, most of the guests have now disappeared. So has Karen. So has Rick. Where did they go? In some unexplainable way, it hurts you. But not that much. Daryl is still here.

_"Why did you bring me the flower?"_

_"What?"_

_"Cherokee Rose. I found it today in my bungalow. You brought it, I know you did"._

_"I wanted you to remember"._

_"Remember what?"_

_"Remember us. That we used to matter. That we used to care. Remember Sophia. "_

_"You have another one to care about now Daryl. Leave me be. And don't mention my daughter ever again"._

The look in his eyes is excruciating. Furious. He won't let you go, he won't release you from his grip, there's no way to escape him. You want to run...No, you don't. Daryl is here. Wild, angry, fierce. Like you've remembered him. Him, instinct, rage, **fire**. And you, reason, calamity, self-restraint,** ice**. You want to go, run to Rick, get away from the memories and unexplainable passion that now possesses your veins. You want to get away, but you can't, not this time.

_"You wanna go? _He asks so briefly, so casually like it was the most natural thing in the world.

_"Go?" _You're not sure you've heard him right.

_"Somewhere else? Private?" _

He doesn't blush, he doesn't falter. He doesn't take his eyes off you. He is firm, he is sure of what he is saying and doing. New Daryl. Confident, powerful. And it turns you on and you can't, you simply are not able to refuse.

But the alarm sets off in your mind and your belly right away.

Ah-hah.

A big wakeup call now.

He wants to go some place private.

And you want to go there too, so much. To be with him the way you've always wanted.

Ever since he brought you this damn flower ages ago. He moved something inside you then. You weren't sure what was it, until now. Daryl woke up a woman in you. All those days back. He kept waking up a part of that woman inch by inch, with every day, every moment you spent together. He did that unconsciously of course. And without even meaning it, you woke up a man in him as well. On the Farm, in the Prison. And when everything was going into the right direction, when he saved you, when you thanked him for it...he left. In a heartbeat. And all your dreams shattered.

And now he is asking you to go with him. Some place else, some place private. You know what it means. But you're not entirely sure why.

"_Why?"_

_"So we can talk?"_

_"We are talking now"._

_"Carol, please"._

_"What about Karen.?_

"_Huh?"_

_"You're together, no?"_

_"In a way"_

_"In a way?. What u mean?"_

_"What's it to you?"_

_"I prefer to know this , if we go somewhere private, Daryl"._

_"Karen is no one. There's nothing serious between us. "_

_"Does she think so as well?"_

_"Carol.."_

_"She is in love with you, Daryl. I saw it. It's all unfair to her."_

_"Unfair? What about what's unfair to US?"_

You turn around, disbelief in your eyes. Is he actually fighting for you?

_"Carol...Don't walk away like that."_

_"Why not. You did."_

_"Carol!"_

You walk out of the wedding area as if devil himself was chasing you. You just want to be away from this man, this heartbroken feeling, and this mess he brought into your life again. And that's when u feel it. A sudden movement behind you. His arm around your waist. And his lips searching yours. This time, there is no hesitation. You respond to him right away. Involuntarily, unconsciously. The first touch is frantic. He is warm and you are nervous. But somehow your lips find his and you connect. You open your eyes, want to know if it's all real. You've been dreading for this moment for all those years, and now that it's finally happening, when you almost thought you lost it forever...you're so unsure, so scared, so terrified. But it's just Daryl. Daryl, who gave you a pickaxe to finish off Ed, Daryl, who looked for Sophia for all those weeks, who almost died while doing it, Daryl, who yelled at you and gave you Cherokee Roses at the same time, Daryl, who became your best friend, who joked with you about sex and Daryl, who saved you from the dead in the tombs. Daryl, who left you to find better life with his brother, who found you again here, now with another woman, but with same wilderness in his eyes and the same awkwardness in his body. Your Daryl, your fate, your curse. The only man you ever loved. And he is kissing you now with so much passion that you know, it could burn both of you in the process. His eyes are open as well, and his tongue is pushing to gain access to you. You part your lips and then all the world fades away, your tongues meet and it feels like an electric shock, it's so intense, so much wanted, so much craved. You feel tears in your eyes and you try to repeat to yourself to not be weak, to not cry, 'cos it will scare him, you want to be strong and funny and teasing, like all those days ago at the bus top...but you can't. Your knees are week, your hands press to his chest, his hips buck into yours on instinct, he is groaning, and you are too, and you know that whatever is about to happen tonight, nothing else will trigger it anymore. Not Karen - a misty shadow right now, not Rick - a pale memory. On this hot August night, there are only the two of you truly alive out there, you and him, your only true lover, your savior, your Daryl. Everything that ever was between you, doesn't matter anymore. All the obstacles, doubts, hard decisions, life and death trials..it all doesn't matter now because now you are about to make love to the only man who truly kept you alive and kicking through all those years. The man you thrived for, the man you wanted to live for.

He grabs your hand and you quickly disappear from the almost empty wedding place, you have no idea where he is guiding you but you trust him endlessly.


	12. Impact part 3

**A/N****: **_**My Dearest Readers. This chapter is written from Daryl's point of view and it's been a real challenge for me. This is because we still don't really know what's going on inside his head. He is so closed. Anyway, I tried to bring here all the possible emotions and conflicts, but also some excitement and anticipation he may have felt on this hot wedding night. I probably won't achieve fully what I want here, but I will try. Stay tuned please, if you will:)**_

_**Sorry for all the language bumps on the road, I'm not a native English-speaker. **_

_**Now some words of thanks:**_

_**vickih: **__Wonderful to see you liked it! Keep reading, I am waiting for words of encouragement as well as constructive critic!_

_**itsi3: **__Maybe Rick is not going to be hurt after all? I don't want him to feel pain in any way. Who knows what will happen, but I will try to make it all somehow fulfilling for all 4 of them. If it works out - we will see. _

_**crystal2817: **__Don't you worry too much about Rick. He's survived a lot worse. And I won't make him hurt too much, he is too dear to me._

_**vmg: **__You're very welcome. Feels and emotions is what's it's all about, no? You can expect more. _

_**AnonymousMe03: **__Thank you so much for reading. I am still amazed that my stories can somehow affect that emotionally on people. It means so much._

_**Pat83: **__Please don't hate me! I know the anticipation is maybe too long and too stressful, but I will make it up to you, I'll try at least. Glad to know that your impression of my characters is positive, trying to create an in-character portraits of already established characters in a Tv show isn't easy. I am happy that so far, somehow it works!_

_all the__**Guests: **__Oh, I will let all of you guys know what exactly Daryl means with the flower:) He gave us the hints but that's not all. I will explain more of it. And yes, it will be emotional as well!_

_**definatelywalkerbait:**__My dear Kat. I can't ever express how much your reviews mean to me. You analyze everything so thoroughly that sometimes I am scared that you will highline all the imperfect moments, all the bad stuff, all that didn't work out. But all of your reviews have been so much of your sweet, amazing approval and applause. You analyze all, you point out all the most important parts, you feel the vibe that the story is supposed to give to the viewers and I can feel you love these characters like all of us do. This is purely amazing. Thank you for this. This is the greatest encouragement I could ever get, my friend. And this is the major reason why I will keep writing. No words could ever explain how grateful I am. _

_P.S Smoking hurts, don't do it! But cheers for a few glasses of wine:)_

**Disclaimer****: **_**I do not own The Walking Dead.**_

The air is so thick and her hand is so warm you almost can't stand it. You walk out of the white wedding tent, straight into the hot wind of Georgia summer. She is walking beside you, no hesitance in her moves, she seems sure and calm about what's going to happen but truth is..you have no slight idea where you're leading her. Far from the tent - that's obvious. Far from other people - sure as hell too. Why are you taking her away? Answer is simple. So simple you shrug at the thought of it, even though the thought is more than pleasant. It's wonderful. Exquisite. You want to be finally alone with Carol. Because, when you think back to the past, what has been between you in the last 3 years...you've never really been alone with her. Because on the farm, there was always someone around her, some Lori or Andrea or Maggie to take care of her poor soul, to cheer her up after the terrible fate Sophia had to face. You were by her side then, true. Silent, but obvious. And Carol knew that. But ever since then, you were never alone. Well, maybe in the tombs when she was almost dead, so it doesn't count. But now, it was finally the time. _"Time for what exactly_?" - you silently ask yourself. Her lips were so soft, so sweet and so demanding. Her tongue searched for yours, and found it like it was meant to do it always...The beating of her heart when you danced...and those cruel words, the ones you knew you had to face someday.."_You left us..."._

She blamed you for all that happened later. Wanted to feel you responsible. And you are responsible.

Yes, you left them. To be with your sorry ass brother. Merle was who he was, he had his values and he was by far the only person who truly cared for you. Until her, Carol. And Rick, and people you've found in this Quarry. Loosing him, loosing them, and loosing her...if Karen wasn't there with you, it probably would have been too much. But now there was something new. And you all were in this mess together. Again.

Each time you see her with Rick, every damn time, your stomach muscles clench, you start to breath fast and you can feel your nails grinding in your fists. But there's nothing you can do. She is yours and Ricks is hers. Carol.

_Carol. _

But not tonight.

Rick disappeared somehow between the songs. Karen was lost as well. There were very few people left in the wedding tent. Even less outside, where you went after Carol. Where you kissed her for the first time. It was fierce. Hot, impatient. You've never kissed anyone like this before. Sure, you've kissed in your life probably more girls than you could ever count, but only a few of them were still in your memories.

Karen was.

Her sweet scent was with you for each of the last 730 days. Now it was overpowered by some other scent.

A scent of freedom. And Cherokee Roses.

Always, those damn Cherokee Roses.

And somehow, you don't really care where Karen is. You know she is safe, and that keeps you calm enough. You also know Rick isn't anywhere near. This is comforting as well. Strange feeling. He used to be your brother. Now, with Carol in your arms, he seems almost an enemy.

You hold her burning hand and walk her out of the common area. Only shadows of the nearby trees and strong fences are above you. The moon is bright. You finally stop.

She holds your hand like her life depended on it. You face her blue eyes now. She is so beautiful. Why haven't you noticed her enormous beauty ever before? Or, maybe you have. Maybe you just blocked it out of your consciousness. What an idiot you are..

She looks at you. And her eyes are big. And deep. Her breath is fast. Her lips glisten. You see freckles on her neck. Shivers of her skin. You hear her ragged breath. Feel her nails on your tender skin. She is touching your arm right now.

"_Daryl..where are we going?"_

_"Far from here"_

_"Wait...why?"_

She stops. She is worried, you can tell.

"_I want to talk to you alone Carol. Not much privacy in this tent out there.."_

_"Where are we going..?"_

_"To the lake pier"._

_"Oh"._

Well. Your answer seems to satisfy her, for now.

* * *

The Lake is a quiet and solitude place, not many people wonder to this area. Only those who fish each morning to provide fresh prey for the survivors.

Survivors...

This terminology makes you shrug. In the last half an hour you kinda forgot that this is the time of Apocalypse and everyone is fighting for their lives and no one is safe. All that matters now is he woman by your side. Her blue eyes, her warm breath, her grip on your muscular arm.

You reach the abandoned log of wood at the lake bank. You sit and pull her with you. She doesn't hesitate.

_"Daryl?"_ She looks at you with question in her eyes.

_"Why are we here?"_ You cannot answer. You're afraid. She is so beautiful. And you are so lame and powerless.

You feel so defeated. At last. And it is a woman, who did that. Not your sorry ass brother, not violent dad..even not a wonderful Karen by your side.

Carol's face, Carol's voice did that. She always could look through you. See your inner fights. And pain. Conflict.

She can see it even now. Her eyes are wide open, but she doesn't proceed.

"_Daryl..why did u bring me here? Is this what you want? Where u wanna be?"_

There is no answer. Only your mouth starving, now on hers again. Your hunger for that woman is unpredictable, unable to fight, unable to estimate, not possible to define. Strange thing, you cannot even establish it. How and why it happened so fast, so intensely. You kiss her again. Your tongue instinctively seeking hers, her lips parting, your skin sensitive now, your breath short and restless.

Her hands disappear in your long hair, she pulls on them slightly and you leave a low moan. It all feels nice. Feels new. Carol's nails dig into your skin on your neck. Her lips at your ear now. "_You need a haircut_" she quietly whispers, and it's one of the most erotic things you've ever experienced. Her tongue curls around your earlobe and then she kisses your chin slowly.

You reach for her head and look deep into her eyes. In this moment the two of you know that this is the moment when you decide. Turn back, or go take the plunge, feel free to get deep into one another, release all the instincts and shoo away all the doubts and frustrations. Your hands are on her thighs, caressing and squeezing unconsciously, and her eyes shining in the dark. Her hands on your arms, unsure and shaking. You want to calm her down. She is safe, you won't hurt her. As safe as she ever could be. But you're scared as well. What if all this will become one huge failure? She won't be happy.. "_Satisfied_" your inner self screams at you..And what about Karen? Rick? Your partners..friends? You want Carol beyond imagination, and you're pretty sure she wants you as well, she is panting, her skin is hot and sensitive to the touch and her hands are all over you..It's so hard to leave her..so hard. You can't do it now, not after all these years. Hours and days spent at watching her deal with her inner demons, and those not so inner, the real world, and she still remained strong, she still remained a fighter. Only, it wasn't you anymore to watch her progress and transformation. It was Rick. And as much as you try not to remember it, or him, you burn yourself into Carol even more, with even more passion. Your hand travel beneath the hem of her green dress, unsurely but slowly finding her breast, while your other palm rests on her curved hip. You can feel her slow and almost reluctant moves under the dress she is wearing. Her hips going in small circles. Her thighs tightening. This is too much for you to process so you just stop thinking. You act on instinct. And you want this woman, you've always wanted her, but she was always so un reachable. Always afar. Always hurt, always fragile. You had to leave her, so it could make her strong again, you know it. But now she isn't yours anymore. She is his. And even though you have no rights, no claim to her, you kiss her even more fiercely, your hips buck into hers even harder, and you moan even louder while she starts to un button your white shirt. You are seated on the wooden log, it is probably ridiculous but you don't care. Carol is her with you, your Carol, your dark destiny, and you wanna touch her, make her finally yours. you watch her and her eyes are clouded with passion, she wants all of it as much as you, you don't doubt it, but deep inside you fear she isn't ready. She sleeps with Rick every night. She is a mother for his kids. She was with them for these 2 years. She is no longer yours. You belong there in the wild. With Karen. Or alone, like you always did. But somehow, staring in Carol's ice cold blue eyes, you know you just can't walk away this time. Because this time she will need answers. And you are damn sure, you should provide them for her this time.

* * *

And like an uncalled answer, Carl just appears out of the darkness and fog.

"_Carol?..All okay? Dad is worried...you okay?"_

Panic in her eyes. You jump away from each other. She wipes her lips and adjusts her dress. It all looks like a crime, a sin. You look into her eyes and what you see there almost kills you and your belief in fate, destiny, nature, instinct...whatever it was you always fate towards Carol. What you see there is guilt. That she was here with you, that she abandoned him. That she let herself loose it.

_"I have to go.." _Her voice is weak and trembling. You notice it.

_"Please...don't go..:" _Pathetic. Be a man Dixon. No, she wants me, not some man I'm not even trying to become.

_"I can't do this Daryl...not anymore.." _

Please stay..I can't do this without you this time.

_"Carol..."_

_"I'm sorry..." _

_"Carol..stay.." _

You know she won't stay. Her lover awaits her. His children.

Whatever was between the two of you is lost now. You realize it painfully. For a brief moment you hoped that something will happen at the Glenn and Maggie's wedding. And something happened. Only to break your heart in peaces again and again, because even if she wanted to, Carol could not be yours. In whatever way. She was Ricks. Ever since you left them for Merle. And what was it all worth? What was it worth?!

You watch her stand up and adjust her green dress again. She walks towards the direction Carl came from, but before she reaches the fence she turns around and looks at you with eyes filled with dark emotions.

"I _would have done anything for this moment with you Daryl a while ago.._

_Can't anymore_

_Be happy with her...please."_

You're speechless. She is leaving you, there's no hope anymore. And you know you'll never be truly happy. Not without those blue eyes, her deep voice, her tender hands on your skin.

This night felt like heaven for a moment and you're willing to do whatever it's needed to get there again, to this moment at this lake, in the arms of this woman, before Carl interrupted you.

_**A/N:**__** Ok, I know I'm a cruel and annoying bitch stopping it right here, but I promise guys, I will make it up to you. Trust me:)**_


End file.
